Steve Eilers Remembrance
by Paul Ciampa
My favorite book is a Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. I loved that book
because the story was so robust and full of life. Each page was a joy – vivid and
memorable. The main character, Owen Meany, was a great, caring friend --
idiosyncratic, with a booming voice, and a larger than life personality. When that
book ended, I was deeply disappointed. I wanted more from Irving; I wanted that
magnificent piece to continue. It gave me such great pleasure. That book reminds
me of my dear friend Steve.
Steve and I have been friends for 30 years. We have shared so many great times
together. As Stu told me the other day, we had more than a lifetime of truly fantastic
times with Steve during his stay on earth. We should be grateful for that. And I am.
Our friendship centered around many of our common interests. Of our common
interests, I’d have to start with food. And if one food defined Steve, it would
be….that’s right pizza. No one story would do Steve justice here, but my most vivid
memory was when Steve and Tim Urquhart visited me in New York for our annual
Renaissance Weekend gathering. After attending the Army Navy game, and then
hitting Keane’s Chop House for dinner, we hit a few bars in NYC with some of my
work colleagues. Later in the evening, Steve was hungry so we headed to Ray’s
pizza to get a slice. There was already a line of at least a dozen people. In New York,
you don’t cut lines like that…unless of course, you are the Chief. Upon entering the
pizzeria, Steve’s focus immediately turned to the various pizzas in the display and,
oblivious to the line, he wandered straight ahead towards the pizza oven. The oven
door opened and he saw a beautiful pepperoni pizza. He pointed at the pizza and
asked the employee straight out – “is that for sale?” The bewildered employee took
one look at the passion in our friend and shook his head “yes”. I saw a person or two
in line get ready to say something, but then looked at Steve and decided not to get
between the bear and his honey.
Another common interest we had was travel. My first real journey was with Steve-
we travelled in Europe together after college for about a month. We met in Paris
and went to Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Austria, and then back to Paris for the 200 th
Bastille Day. So my first trip to two of the world’s most romantic places, Paris and
Venice, was with Steve. I can still recall him walking up the Pont Neuf with his large
duffel bag (no backback for Steve…who was never afraid to buck
conformity)…bouncing towards me. I can clearly recall so much of that trip…
My wife, Mary, and I had the good fortune of having Steve and Evelyn, along with
Turq and Fiona, visit us on Cape Cod this summer. It was a trip down memory lane
for Steve, who spent his childhood summers there. He had such amazing memories
of his childhood there. He loved the Cape. During his stay, we introduced Steve to a
new delicacy – Sundae school ice cream, which Steve religiously devoured. Pints
and pints of it. It was so great for the kids to spend time with him. He connected
with them as he did with so many kids. They relished this Big Bear who was so
gentle with them. After he left, I went to have an ice cream which was all gone – I
asked where it went and Francesca laughed and said “Uncle Chief ate it.” Mary and I
enjoyed the laughs, the warmth, the friendship…and we enjoyed getting to know
Evelyn. I am so thankful, Evelyn, that you enabled us to have this one last special
time together.
Steve always enjoyed exchanging ideas on politics. We did not always see eye to
eye. Indeed, in college, when I ran for House President, Steve supported the other
guy, despite our friendship. Steve felt he was better suited for the job. It was
disappointing for me to hear this, but Steve was open and honest and thoughtful. I
lost that race…but Steve being Steve, our friendship was better than ever
afterwards.
Steve always stayed current as well. I recall in b school that Turq, Johny and I were
so focused on our studies. I was thrilled to study the classics – Peter Drucker and
Ted Levitt. Chief on the other hand…well a visual does it best. I’d come back from
class and find Chief on the couch…People Magazine next to him, the USA today not
far, a United flight guide always at the ready, the short shorts on that he loved to
wear, with a tee shirt tucked in, and a subway sandwich wrapper in the same
vicinity. He kept me in touch with the current day for sure…and pulled me out of my
academic isolation.
Sports was definitely our strongest bond. As Bo would say, Chief knows football.
My last text with him was a congratulations on the Indians going to the World
Series…to which he responded “Thanks Champ! Good to see so many good things
happening in Cleveland.” We had been to the Sugar and Rose Bowls together, as
well as the Army Navy game. We had memorable times at Wrigley and the Jake, at
the Cow Palace and Chicago Stadium…in Colorado and New York. We saw hockey in
Cleveland and baseball on Cape Cod. We even sat in the Fenway Monster Seats with
Goose Gossage in the famous Red Sox come from behind in 2004, when Varitek
taught Arod how to proceed to first base. Thank you Chief – you made that
wonderful day as rich and vivid as it could possibly be.
Steve has been one of my best friends for the past 30 years. I have struggled with
his loss It is selfish, I know, but I really wish I could have one more pizza with him –
his style, deep dish, with pepperoni, and for breakfast. I wish we could take one
more trip together – perhaps to another of the world’s wonderful romantic places –
with our wives this time. I would love to discuss politics and hear him dissect this
past election. His insight I know would help me better understand it. On the day of
his passing, I had just finished Hillbilly Elegy, which Steve had told me I had to read.
He was right. I would of course love to hear his thoughts on the Cubs and the
Tribe..on the Jamie Collins trade…on the Cavs…on Tom Brady…on so so many topics
we frequently discussed. So often in the past month when these topics popped up, I
instinctively went to email or text Steve. He is that present with me.
I have struggled with Steve’s passing. I think of him often. At times, I am pulled to
tears. At times, recalling memories, I laugh out loud. I feel that I understand where I
need to get to. I need the wisdom to understand that Chief lives on in me on a daily
basis.
To return to Owen Meany again…I loved what his best friend, John Wheelwright,
said about Owen after Owen had passed all too soon.
“I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice. Not because of his voice, or because
he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my
mother's death, but because he is the reason I believe in God. I am a Christian because of
Owen Meany.”
Rest assured, I am not a Christian because of Steve. But my humanity – my daily life
– has been so enrichened because of my relationship with Steve. I enjoy eating pizza
more because of Steve. Each time Mary and the kids and I take a trip, it was
encouraged in part by Steve and his love of travel. Each time I am more respectful
with others when discussing politics, it was because of Steve and how respectful and
thoughtful he was. When a friendship survives and thrives despite differences in
opinion, it was in part Steve’s spirit helping us along. When I see the Patriots
scoring a touchdown, I will see the block made that opened the whole – nothing
gave Steve greater pleasure than seeing the line do their job. And when Turq and I
gather each year hereafter, we will know that it was Steve that brought us together.
Chief was my Owen Meany. A larger than life person with a booming voice, a strong
handshake, and a maiming high five..a terrific friend with so many vivid, wonderful
stories. A piece of work and a work of art. Someone taken too early in life. A story
that I was enjoying too much to want it to end.
I keep reading Owen Meany with my kids…I have not let the end of the book end my
love for it. It remains alive in me…much in the way I know Steve will forever remain
alive and a friend…someone whose wonderful memory will flicker in me throughout
my life. Thank you Steve for so much…